Do you ever wonder why you care so much about something? I’m not talking about whether your favorite team will win in the playoffs or if you’ll get that special gift you’ve been waiting for…I’m talking about caring about something so much that it almost pains you? I’m also not talking about a relationship either.

On at least a weekly basis I look around and wonder if anyone else is paying attention. After a few minutes of thinking about it, I usually come to the conclusion that I can’t be upset at other people for being more excited about basketball, or movies, or anything else than I am about our nation and politics because that’s just what they’re drawn to. However, in the back of my head, I still wonder if that’s because they’ve just given up and they’d rather spend their time on something that brings a little bit of joy. This only sends me into a whole other thought process where I wonder if it’s ok to then willfully ignore what’s going on around you. Again, these are just my thoughts…not laws of life.

Sometimes I wish that I didn’t care so much. Sometimes I wish that I could simplify my life and just care about whether the Suns are going to beat the Cavs…or more appropriately, if Sun Devil football will make it to a relevant bowl game. I actually do wonder about that one often enough. Anyway, it bothers me at times that I’m as consumed by politics as I am.

Why do I care so much? Can one person really make any amount of difference? Do I have a sphere of influence that I can really tap into and bring about change? Simply put, in life, I’m better off than some and not as fortunate as others. I do my best. I do what I think is best. I have no ill intentions behind any of my beliefs and I don’t arrive at any of my beliefs easily. That said, I do think I can make a difference.

I feel a need in me to take on bigger challenges. I feel a desire to keep pushing for something more. It’s not a pursuit of money, it’s a pursuit for doing what is right. I don’t believe I will be well liked because of it. As a matter of fact, I’ve already experienced that on a small scale. I don’t know the exact figure, but for every nice email I receive from someone about something I write, there are many more that are quite the opposite. That’s ok, I’m not looking for acceptance.

What then? How can I make a change when it’s not accepted? I suppose all I can do is to keep trying and at least lay down my head each night knowing that I did my best. But that’s not good enough. I don’t want to just put in effort and rest on it. I want to put in effort that shows results. I fully intend to do just this.